Happy podcast day! It’s week two and we’re excited to share with you our list of First Date Dos and Don’ts. We feel like there are so many resources out there that tell you what not to do when it comes to dating, and then there are so many others that tell you what you should do. Unfortunately, more often than not, they don’t line up with each other. So today we plan to break that mold. We’ve got three things to not do on a first date and then three corresponding alternatives to replace them with.
Don’t #1 - Don’t treat this like a job interview.
Do #1 - Have some fun!
It can be really easy to slip into a patter of just asking your date a bunch of questions so you can figure out as quickly as possible if this could work long term. You want to know where he lives, what his family’s like, how much money he makes (without actually asking him that), what his beliefs and morals are, and so on. But don’t spend the entire dinner grilling him and mentally checking off boxes in your head. Really try to get to know the person and have some fun! Ask more interesting, light hearted questions. Tell stories. Be curious. And just relax. You’re going to get to know this person better with time as the dating process progresses, so be patient and enjoy yourself!
Don’t #2 - Don’t let him kiss you.
Do #2 - Focus on the non-physical side of the relationship first (and make him work for it a little).
To be honest, Bethany and I don’t completely see eye to eye on this one. This is a very strict rule for her, while I’m a little more lenient about it. BUT, one thing we do agree on is not letting the physical side of things dominate a relationship. Now, don’t get me wrong, physical attraction is VERY IMPORTANT. I’m a big fan of dating someone I’m attracted to. After all, if the thought of kissing the guy you’re dating makes you cringe, you might want to rethink dating him all together. That being said, don’t let your physical attraction outweigh the importance of getting to know the person sitting across from you. Plus, guys like the chase. Make him work for it a little bit. 😉
Don’t #3 - Don’t have unrealistic expectations.
Do #3 - Keep an open mind to a second date, even if the first one is awkward.
I’m guessing when it comes to expectations for the first date, you fall into one of two camps. Either you have super high, romantic comedy worthy expectations that this date is going to be wonderful and magical and perfect. OR, you have super low expectations and you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop and think this is going to be the worst two hours of your life. I fall under the first category, while Bethany falls under the second. Neither are great places to be. While it is good to have expectations, it’s important to keep them in check. You should expect to have fun on this date! You should not expect to know if you’re going to marry the guy or not. You should also not expect that he’s going to be horrible and that you’re going to die alone. See? Balance is important. And even if the first date isn’t perfect, don’t be afraid to give the guy a second chance, because you never know how things could turn out! During the episode I tell the story about my parents’ first date. It wasn’t great, and yet they’re married 30 years later. Case in point - you never know!
I hope yall enjoy this episode and that you find some helpful tips as you’re figuring out how to date well, especially in the context of first dates. If you think you have a tip that could be added to this list, feel free to let us know on social media or send us an email. We’d love to hear from you!
Hosts: Kristen Camp and Bethany White
Music by: Adam Johnson
Mixing and Editing by: Bethany White
Logo Design by: Kristen Camp
Content Advisors: Stephanie Buice, Lindsay White, and Melanie Hobson
welcome to looking for the middle
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